♥

700th post. I'm so in ♥ with this blog of mine!

2012-02-17T23:37:00.004+08:00

700TH POST @ swingingmonsters.bs.com ♥

Dinner with ZaiShine on a Thursday night. Too busy catching up till we forgot to camwhore :-(

But there you go..... a picture of our starter.

// On the total side note;

Proud to share you guys this wonderful music video by my Queen!

In early April 2011, Knowles reworked her original "Get Me Bodied" (2007) into what has been described as a "kid-friendlier" song titled "Move Your Body" She joined forces with US First Lady Michelle Obama and the National Association of Broadcasters Education Foundation to promote the national Let's Move! campaign, which aims to combat child obesity by prompting youngsters to become more active.

Will always love Queen B and her good intentions! ☺

Lazygirl_95.

2012-02-13T21:02:00.002+08:00

It's a school day and I should not be here, when i'm suppose to be doing my homeworks and mugging for my O levels (far look), upcoming test(s) (near look) but here I am :-( Guess it's the Monday Blues stopping me from doing my work or can I just blame Miss Lazy?

How was your Monday? Did the blues killed you also?

♥ Sharena.

My Sunday.

2012-02-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

Madness, i'm updating this while running in and out of my room to watch Zee Cine Awards in my parent's room. Times like this I wish I have a laptop instead of a desktop but it's okay I love my desktop too much to let it go ☺

Anyways the pictures above describes my Sunday, doesn't it?

This week study date with Joyce was at North Point and it was sort of unproductive :(

I broke my virginity to Manhattan Fish Market though and to my disappointment, it didn't taste as good as I expected.

Afterwards, I went to have family dinner with my parents over at Newton Food Circus and due to the heavy lunch I had, I settled down for Mutton Chop. And as you can see from the picture, it doesn't look good and sadly it doesn't taste good either.

So in conclusion, everything I ate today was not up to my expectation :(

After all, I had a great Sunday! But i'm not looking forward the upcoming week ahead. Still.... I wish you all a great week ahead ☺

Lots of love, SD.

Changes for my dearest blog.

2012-02-12T02:15:00.001+08:00

To keep myself occupied this Sunday morning, I've been cleaning up pictures and music folders. Deleted lots of them, and my desktop feels kinda clean now. Not forgetting, it has been a good girl because usually there will be a loud engine noise when i'm using it but nowadays it have gone silent.

Due to my cleaning "issues" all of you have to bare with my tumblr images all around! Images I've kept since I start tumblr-ing so I felt like it was a waste to delete in a split second, so I used it in couple of my sites. It's like a great back-up too since I'm lacking of good pictures of myself and my loved ones since I've been a school-holic. No joke.

And referring to last week post, I've made up my mind NOT to create another site for my Random thoughts because I know I will post there more often then here and what will happen to my blog spot? Most probably abandoned and I don't want that. Trust me. So... from now onwards expect my random thoughts to be posted here ☺ Which means more updates, yay!

On the total side note; If you have notice, I've remove videos/songs from my blog because I've read online that majority of people don't enjoy reading blogs with song. So I don't want to annoy my readers (even though I think, you can pause it). I shall give in so from now onwards if I have a new favourite song or my current addiction, I will post it here!

It's been some time since I do proper updates and it somehow feels good. Hopefully I can do more of this. Stay tune, love you guys, Sharena ♥

One minute it's love and suddenly it's like a battlefield.

2012-02-05T20:35:00.001+08:00

Be prepare to see more of me and Joyce! We made a promise to study at different libraries in Singapore every Sunday and for this week, it was Jurong West Library as I was craving for Fried Fish Soup and Jurong Point banquet is the best (in my opinion).

On the total side note; i'm thinking of opening a new blog space to rant out my random thoughts. But I've yet to make up my mind, Insya Allah I will settle everything by next week ☺

Till then, lots of ♥! Have a good week ahead.

Music: Battlefield - Jordin Sparks.

my eyes are like scorpions, they give a very poisonous wink.

2012-01-28T18:22:00.002+08:00

Nongsa Resort @ Batam with the family during Chinese New Year holidays!

Was reluctant at first but thank god I changed my mind because I had a blast ☺

I broke my virginity to paintball (awesome-ness ♥)
Figure out that I actually know how to float.
Realise i'm an uptight person just like Kim K.
Made up my mind to not date for the year 2012.

Music: Chikni Chameli from the movie Agneepath.

So the whole world knows my love for you is so big.

2012-01-25T12:08:00.000+08:00

I don't need this kind of love.

Not getting attached until I find my Jay-Z.

Music: So Big - Iyaz.

Whether it be in happiness or in anger, I won't change my style.

2012-01-15T21:51:00.001+08:00

My best-est cousin Zainab decided to wear the Hijab beginning of 2012 and I'm so proud of her for doing the right thing :)

On Saturday, Saffanah (a Hijabis group on FB) threw a Tea-Party for all the Hijabis and yes I went along to mingle around (not really) with my Muslims sister. I expected much more from the tea party but of course, it's a bad thing to keep expectation high, isn't it? And if you're wondering why are we all so pink, the theme of the party was PINK! <3

After the Tea Party we walked past Joo Chiat and coincidentally some Vasantham actors/actresses were there so we went in to snapped some pictures with them and honestly I didn't know most them so I just watch some of my cousins going ga-ga over them.

Then off we went all the way to Prinsep St for LAN gaming afterwards and yes I love Counter Strike! But I just hate the feeling it gives me, it gets me all nauseous and stuff. Not forgetting me and ZaiShine vommited all over the LAN shop toilet yucks dirty gurlllllllls

And then as you can see from the picture lepak time! Over @ Istana park.

Have fun laughing at how stupid I look. Peace out!

Music: Hum To Bhai Jaise from the movie Veer Zaara.

I am the female Weezy, this shit is easy

2012-01-08T16:36:00.000+08:00

My Sunday shine so brightly because most of the time i'm with ZaiShine. The one and only. I'm so happy with her decision to wear the hijab and one day I hope I can wear it too. Despite of the hate we Muslims receive, I will stay proud of my religion. Peace.

On the total side note; congrats to my Queen and Jay for their new baby girl Ivy Blue Carter.

Music: Y.U. Mad - Birdman feat Lil Wayne feat Nicki Minaj.

Singapore isn't in China homie we independent

2012-01-07T23:47:00.004+08:00

My Saturday was awesome but super exhausting.

Met my best-friend in the afternoon and off we went to visit all the different polytechnics open house in Singapore (exclude RP). Nice to see all the different polytechnics and also going in and out of train, taking different buses. From west to east back to west. I can now set my goal and start e ball rolling, wish me good luck <:

Nights all x

Music: We Got It by ShiGGa Shay feat Smartz.

I’m electrified, got my eyes spinning like a yo-yo.

2012-01-03T20:19:00.001+08:00

How did you guys welcome 2012? I welcome it with my cousins and few friends over at City Hall and the fireworks was truly beautiful this year. Fireworks never fail to amuse me and let a tiny little drop of tear roll out of my eyes.

This is coming in late but Happy New Year my readers!

Officially started my Sec 5 journey today and one word: TIRING. And it is only the first day. I hope/pray that I will have the strength and endurance to complete this last year in USS smoothly.

For those who also went to school today, how was your first day?

Music: Dirty Situation - Mohombi feat Akon.

your kiss is cosmic, every move is magic

2011-12-31T00:41:00.002+08:00

Am I the only one who can't believe that tonight we will all be welcoming 2012? I still can't accept the fact. I've yet to even write down my new year's resolution, I have been postponing it thinking there's still a long way to go but before I know it 2012 is coming tomorrow! Time flies really fast and it is extremely scary.

What are your countdown plans? Anyone catching the fireworks?

Music: ET - Katy Perry feat Kanye West.

I'm addicted, want to jump inside your love. I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I'm addicted, and I just can't get enough.

2011-12-29T01:04:00.002+08:00

The pictures above obviously don't need any introduction, most of you obviously knows that they are the Kardashians. One of the fun-est thing I did this year was to start watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and then proceed on to Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, then to Kourtney and Kim Take New York finally to Khloé & Lamar.

If you follow me on Twitter (@sharendwntwn) you will realise that usually during my free time I will catch-up watching the Kardashians and once some random white follower asked me which website I watch The Kardashians so me being a kind bitch gave her; http://www.1channel.ch/watch-10356-Keeping-Up-with-the-Kardashians. Then, she decided to be a lazy bitch and started asking me which link is better which link is good and she actually spammed my mention!!!

I gave her one solid answer: megavideo.com
and then instead of being greatful she went yadaa yadaa about how irritating the website is and how she hates to wait.
Then I decided not to reply to that bitch anymore. I don't need shits on Twitter, Facebook is enough for that.

I'm here to tell you guys one fact about me. When I watch something online I go for quality and that explains Megavideo. Yes after watching for 72 minutes, you have to wait for 29 minutes before you can continue. I do not have to wait because i'm special heh no just joking! Here is the trick;

When the time runs out change your ip by disconnecting your modem and reconnect it,

Then just refresh the page and skip back to where you stopped.

If you have a static ip, use proxy or wait.

& Yes now you can enjoy good quality videos without signing up or even paying!!! Now you can watch not only TV series but also movies in good quality. It's might seem like a chore but hello I rather watch good quality videos then those shitty ones available online right. Agree with me?

So thank me now! I just gave out a good tip and the link to watch the Kardashians online. Be greatful and have a good day ahead! Me love you all *flying kisses

Music: Just Can't Get Enough - Black Eyed Peas.

killing me softly and I'm still falling.

2011-12-28T00:26:00.002+08:00

My music Queen(s) for the year 2011!

1. Queen B.

Not being bias or anything but Queen B did wow-ed me and blew me away with many good single from her latest album, 4. It started off with Run The World and then her Live in Roseland DVD! Pure diva and I adore Beyonce so much because she's really a down to earth person. Here is one of my all time favourite by Beyonce -- End Of Time! This is Live in Roseland and yes she was pregnant when she did this! Awesome much?

2. Amy Winehouse.

RIP to the beautiful Amy! I've always been a fan of Any Winehouse but I've never showed it until she died. It really left a huge impact on me. It took me months to get over it, I know sounds super dramatic but i'm telling the truth. My all time favourite song from Amy!

3. Adele.

Just like anyone else, I started to fall in love with Adele this year! I regretted not taking Chasing Pavement seriously when it was first released! Adele did absolutely great this year and she's has one of the strongest vocal around! She's right now down w some sickness and I pray for a speedy recovery for her so we can all enjoy good music. Someone Like You by Adele will always be my favourite song because I can relate to it in so many levels. Believe it or not when I heard it the first time I cried, and I continue to do so for the next couple of times.

"sometimes it last in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

4. Jessie J.

I was one of the lucky few who got to hear Jessie J's release for Do It Like A Dude, I like the song but she didn't impress me at first. Until I heard Nobody's Perfect and Who You Are that's when I started falling in love with her. I love how versatile her voice is and how she sound so good when she performs live! I love this live version of Nobody's Perfect.

I wish I could do 5 but I can only give 4 crowns to the 4 wonderful ladies above! Looking forward to more great music from them in 2012! =)

Who did you crown your queen for the year 2011?

Music: Countdown - Beyonce.

Darling, look around; the distance between us is dispelled.

2011-12-27T00:57:00.002+08:00

I don't know where shall I start and how do I put a stop to this entry. I've spent my early hours of Monday writing but I decided to delete it eventually.

Just let me say I have a lot in my plate right now. How about I've not been a good daughter to my father? I've always been daddy's little girl but yesterday, I've crossed the line. How about I've been single for a year (21st December) and I have to fight the fact that I'm afraid of being broken again.

I'm just full of emotions this past few days and all I can say/assume is my period is on it's way.

This week will be the last week for 2011, I've not yet come out with resolutions and I think it's time for me to do so. This last week I shall spent it in a good way so I can say I ended 2011 with a good way and welcome 2012 happily.

My Monday was good I will say as I spent it with my cousin Zainab (who finally used her twitter account!) & Yasin over at Science Centre/IMAX/Snow City and ended our day for dinner over at Wendy's.

How will be my Tuesday be? How will your Tuesday be?

Have a good day all! *lots of love

Music: Main Yahan Hoon - Veer Zaara.

white skin-u girl-u girl-u girl-u heart-u black-u. eyes-u eyes-u meet-u meet-u my future dark.

2011-12-20T13:29:00.000+08:00

Guess who got promoted to Sec 5 with 15 points? ME YES ME.

The minute I receive my results I was mad happy. Before getting my results, I slept every night for 20 days plus feeling all anxious and stuff for no reason. I'm just mad happy that i'm done and over with it. But hold on...... O LEVELS NEXT YEAR FUCK YES.

I can start writing my resolutions for 2012 now :-)

After my results went to have lunch w my parents over at BPP for some Hong Kong food <3 before making my way to Vivo to meet up with Zainab and Kak Naz for dinner at Secret Recipe follow by the movie New Year's Eve afterwards. The movie was seriously two thumbs up!

Made our way back to Kak Naz's house to collect the car keys before proceeding to the airport to fetch our dearest Kak Moi, who was back from Oklahoma! Dearest Kak Moi was there for 3 weeks so she was craving for Singapore food so bad so we head over to Jalan Kayu for late night supper before sending Kak Moi back to Jurong.

We three girls, Kak Naz, Zainab & Me then went to Buangkok for last minute X'mas goodies shopping and then head back Kak Naz's home almost at 6am. Had short power nap before Zainab left for work and I head back home.

A great day I will say, start of from good results to great movie to great company and not forgetting, great conversation with Ben & Joyce over at Twitter despite being out the whole night! But sadly didn't snap much pics :/ Only this three and it was for Facebook.

It's a stay-in Tuesday for me now, how about you?

Music: Why This Kolaveri - Dhanush (on replay [current favourite!!!])

Welcome to my silly life.

2011-12-19T00:56:00.001+08:00

19th November is finally here. The day I have been avoiding and waiting at the same time. I'm avoiding the fact that I have to take my N Levels result and waiting to get rid of the anxiety attack that I have been feeling since 20 days before! Mad insane, I've been living feel anxious most of the time. The option that I really want now is of course to make it Sec 5 and take my O levels but if I can't here are my options.

1. MDIS
Diploma in Accounting
Full GCE 'N' Levels (minimum 5 passes at C6 credit including English language)

2. ITE
Nitec in Opticianry
GCE N level passes in Mathematics or Science and 2 other subjects. Grade: A-D or 1-5

Nitec in Service Skills (Office)
GCE N level passes in English Language and 2 other subjects. Grade: A-D or 1-5

Higher Nitec in Banking Services
GCE N level passes in English Language, Mathematics and 3 other subjects. Grade 1-3 in English Language/ Grade 1-4 in Mathematics/ Grade 1-5 in 3 other subjects/ A total of 19 points or less for English, Mathematics and three other subjects(ELMAB3)*

Higher Nitec in Accounting
GCE N level passes in English Language, Mathematics and 3 other subjects. Grade 1-3 in English Language/ Grade 1-4 in Mathematics/ Grade 1-5 in 3 other subjects/ A total of 19 points or less for English, Mathematics and three other subjects (ELMAB3) *

It's 12:53AM in the morning and I really need to calm down! A few more hours to go before I receive my result. Keep me in your prayers ok!

Love you guys!

PS: The minute I get my result I will tweet so if you want "live" update follow me on Twitter @sharenadwntwn and yes it's back to private.

Music: Fucking Perfect - P!nk

with you it's like the perfect picture painted from my eyes.

2011-12-13T16:33:00.004+08:00

Blogs that I read/check on daily basis.

(In my bookmark order.)

I drop by the Kardashians sister blog for fashion ideas and I just love reading the updates of their busy life. What amuse me is they usually update their blog more often then us the ordinary who usually doesn't have much on our plate like them. To be honest, I love Khloe's blog the most! (not being bias btw)

http://khloekardashian.celebuzz.com/
http://officialkourtneyk.celebuzz.com/
http://kimkardashian.celebuzz.com/
http://fashionistichips.blogspot.com/ -- Own by Ameera Anuar.
http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/ -- Own by Singapore Famous Blogger, Xia Xue. To be honest, I don't really enjoy reading her blog because in my opinion others in my list has a much better blog then her. Not a hater but love gossiping about her w my bestfriend (http://helloponyz.blogspot.com/)
http://mypussykatt.tumblr.com/ -- Own by Renny Rahman. I've been following her coming to 4 years now even though she keeps changing her blogging platform.
http://www.michellephan.com/ -- Own by YouTube famous make-up guru, Michelle Phan.
http://sexzdrugsrocknroll.blogspot.com/ -- Own by Fieza, one of the girls that I follow on Twitter.
http://tooyoungtolove.onsugar.com/ -- Own by the pretty Nurul Atikah, one of the girls I follow on Twitter.
http://fixyour-eyes.blogspot.com/ -- Own by Kim. Have been following this blog for about 2 years now. Love her blog layout, love the way she updates and love the pictures that she usually post.
http://voguepleasures.blogspot.com/ -- Own by my ex-senior, Nadiah.
http://nurulaini.net/ -- Own by Mediacorp artist, Nurul Aini. It's a mummy blog, quite fun to read about the journey of being a mum.
http://sixteenbunnies.blogspot.com/ -- Own by Nicolette, my primary school school mate.
http://vanessahudgensofficial.com/ -- Own by Baby V, my all time beautiful baby face idol!
http://nadznadzx.blogspot.com/ -- Own by Nadine, one of my school mate. Love her make-up updates and her beautiful blog layout. Not forgetting, she's very beautiful too.
http://www.noelboyd.com/ -- Own by Noel Boyd. A blog about tattoos and he is the host of my current favourite show call Tattooed.

So if you are a blogger and wish for me to check out your blog do drop your blog url on my formspring. I promise I will take my time to read your blog! :)

Good day all!

I'm leaving for Geylang Patah again later tonight, kisses for now.

Music: Only With You - Alicia Keys feat Keyshia Cole.

life is the bitch, and death is her sister. sleep is the cousin, what a f-ckin’ family picture.

2011-12-13T00:48:00.001+08:00

I think this my first time ever attempting to do beauty updates because I'm usually afraid that people might think i'm not pretty enough to talk about beauty product/stuff/routine but hack care all that, today i'm going to break my virginity to it.

Basically I was bored at home (poor me) so I decided to try Michelle Phan's no heart curling method. This is the official video here;

To be honest, this will be my second time attempting it. The first one, I give up after several rolls because it was TIRING. This time I endure and manage to complete my whole hair.

Didn't take the process photo but this is how I looked when I was done with it. I look damn retarded with brown paper in my hair :/

Michelle Phan went to sleep with it but I had a date (NOT) so I removed it once I felt that my hair was completely dry and here is the outcome!

I wouldn't say it is as nice as Michelle's but it did turn out better than what I expected. I just styled it up with my daily Himalaya Hair Oil and off I went!

To those girls who wants to do curls but hate the heat (like me!) you girls should try this method but I do warn you, it will be pretty tiring rolling and rolling but what's beauty without pain?

Music: 6 foot 7 foot - Lil Wayne feat Cory Gunz

Nobody's talkin cause talkin just turns into screamin.

2011-12-12T16:14:00.000+08:00

Allison Harvard ♥

I had a rough week last week and as much I don't want to talk about it or blame myself for it, it just keep haunting me. It made me realize that not everyone can take my vulgarities, not everyone like the way I speak, to sum up everything, I'm someone rude and that's not classy at all. I hate myself for being hot tempered, I hate myself for spitting everything out at a heated moment. Not forgetting, always being the one to give in and end up crying late at night. I just realize I have thousands of flaws and I need to work on them. Physically and mentally. Not forgetting, I've been keeping distance with everyone and I've been staying in most of the times, in attempt of "finding myself" but yikes, obviously I fail at it and sometimes it makes situation worst because my mum will get extremely worried about it. The times I've break down is enough to show i'm not as strong as I think I am. I also gets anxious all the time because in 7 days time, I will be getting back my N-Levels result and I'm definitely so nervous for it because it determines my future (I figure this out too late :/) and how next year will be. I have no resolutions for 2012 YET because I'm patiently waiting for my results to make plans for next year. Wish me all the best ok? And if you actually bother to read this whole paragraph, congrats you just wasted your time.

I can't promise any of you a proper update because I seriously have nothing to share with you guys.

Are you guys interested in movie reviews? my wishlist for Christmas?

Music: Mad - Ne-yo.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror...Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf...

2011-12-08T15:35:00.000+08:00

When I'm nervous I have this thing, yeah, I talk too much

Sometimes I just can't shut the hell up

It's like I need to tell someone, anyone who'll listen

And that's where I seem to fuck up

Yeah, I forget about the consequences

For a minute there I lose my senses

And in the heat of the moment my mouth starts going

The words start flowing, oh

But I never meant to hurt you

I know it's time that I learned to

Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved

This is a lesson learned

I hate that I let you down

And I feel so bad about it

I guess karma comes back around

'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah

And I hate that I made you think

That the trust we had is broken

Don't tell me you can't forgive me

'Cause nobody's perfect

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nobody's perfect, no

If I could turn back the hands of time

I swear I never would've crossed that line

I should of kept it between us

But, no, I went and told the whole world how I feel and oh

So I sit and I realize

With these tears falling from my eyes

I gotta change if I wanna keep you forever

I promise that I'm gonna try

But I never meant to hurt you

I know it's time that I learned to

Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved

This is a lesson learned

I hate that I let you down

And I feel so bad about it

I guess karma comes back around

'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah

And I hate that I made you think

That the trust we had is broken

So don't tell me you can't forgive me

'Cause nobody's perfect

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nobody's perfect

I'm not a saint, no, not at all, but what I did, it wasn't cool

But I swear that I'll never do that again to you, oh

I'm not a saint, no, not at all, but what I did, it wasn't cool

But I swear that I'll never do that again to you, yeah

I hate that I let you down

And I feel so bad about it

I guess karma comes back around

'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah

And I hate that I made you think

That the trust we had is broken

So don't tell me you can't forgive me

'Cause nobody's perfect, no

I hate that I let you down

And I feel so bad about it

I guess karma comes back around

'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah

And I hate that I made you think

That the trust we had is broken

So tell me you can forgive me

'Cause nobody's perfect, yeah, yeah, whoa

Don't tell me, don't tell

Don't tell me you can't forgive me

No, no, no, no

'Cause nobody's perfect, no

xoxo

too many times I’ve been wrong, I guess being right takes too long. I’m done waiting, theres nothing left to do.

2011-12-06T14:57:00.001+08:00

Good day all!

Pause my blog playlist and take 4:35 minutes of your life to watch this video. It's a video about a BULLYING VICTIM. I always thank god, that I've NEVER experience bullying before. Because i'm honestly a fragile person, and I can just break down anytime. I wouldn't have the guts to do a video like that, I will just secretly take my life. I'm a coward. But I have to credit that beautiful boy above, who sat there 4am in the morning, wanting to a stand and to spread the message around that bullying is something painful/hurtful and might cause someone to take away their life. Even when the video went I online, there's still haters commenting on his videos saying he should die or whatsoever, I don't know if this group of people are heartless or what. How can you seat there and watch a boy cry, showing his scars to you and you just ask him to go and die? That really shows you're a heartless person.

How I wish i'm someone huge and I can make a big difference to stop bullying. But i'm someone small all the way in Singapore. All I can do is sign up with organization online to help but I truly wish before I die I can open my own organization and put a stop to bullying. It pains me to see bullying victims.

I've never gone through bullying or anything like that but I've went through racism comments on me because I have darker skin then most people (in school.) I still remember Sec 1 when I added this particular classmate of mine on Friendster, he rejected me. In class I sat in-front of him and I overheard his conversation with one of my Chinese classmate and in Mandarin he said "I didn't accept her on Friendster because she's INDIAN." That really killed me and made me think twice about my appearance. But I grew past it. I realize it's really shallow of someone to be a racist at this century in Singapore -- a multi racial country. The best part is this particular boy wasn't born here therefore I could understand, he comes from Malaysia where they usually put Malay forward and maybe he went through shit there so he comes here to escape from it? We never know. Anyways, screw him because after he find out I'm not 100% Indian, he actually added me on Facebook, followed me on Twitter. It shows right, how shallow he is.

Let me get this particular fact straight about me, I am a mixture of Indian, Chinese & Malay. Try me in Tamil, Mandarin & Malay. I'm a mixture of everything so it's hard for racism to get skin deep with me. & Oh about my skin colour? I embrace the fact that a lot of great women in this earth are beautiful and strong w dark skin on. Example: Queen B.

Have a good Tuesday all! And let's put a stop to Bullying & Racism.

Music: Find Your Love - Drake.

When I say I'ma do somethin I do it, I don't give a damn what you think, I'm doin this for me, so fuck the world.

2011-12-02T00:07:00.002+08:00

I've been having anxiety attack almost every night for the past few days. And I seriously don't know why! I'm just so afraid if it's going to be about my results which will come in about 18 days. Everyone has been saying that i'm overeating but I seriously can't control myself. It's like eating me alive inside. I just don't want to let my parents down. Ugh! How I wish I can turn back time and did every thing right. To be honest, I think I did quite ok for my N levels exclude my Humanities which was suppose to be one of my best subject. Maybe that's why i'm feeling all hyped up, i'm mad angry at myself for not doing as good as I usually do for Humans. Weird enough that I don't feel anything for Maths which is one of my weakest subject. Mmm now I see why everything seem so fucked up. To begin with, i'm feeling anxious because I screwed one of my best-est subject and I feel neutral about my weakest subject. Holy shit. I just solved the mystery that have been unsolved in my heart/head for the past few nights. But like what I usually say, what's done cannot be done so all I can do now is hope for the best. If my results falls below 19 points or even exactly 19 points, i'm still going to Secondary 5. But if... it's above 19 or I fail my Maths, my plan is to either take Private Diploma and if fails at me, i'm taking Private O levels. Many said it's not really a good plan to take Private O levels but I will try. It's too early to say everything now, I shall just countdown to my result and see how it goes. Keep me in your prayers till then and oh sorry for this pathetic paragraph about my anxiety attack for my N levels result. We shall see in 18 days, what I will blog about!

Music: Not Afraid - Eminem.

No, I can't take one more step towards you 'Cause all that's waiting is regret.

2011-11-28T13:33:00.003+08:00

Weekends are suppose to be fun, no tears are suppose to be rolling out of your eyes, my dear.

Saturday.

It was an early Saturday for me because I had to run errands in the morning. Met Joyce at CCK to "surprise" Erwin and made our way to Bugis. Got our Breaking Dawn tickets and went to have lunch over at Tong Seng. Manage to satisfy my craving for Fried fish soup and KOI on the same very day, yay! After the movie ended, we met Ben and made our way to Haji Lane and went back to Bugis to window shop. The 3 of them went back home while I made my way to town to meet my parents and had dinner over at Ayer Rajah. Had great company and great food on the same day which makes me extremely happy.

Sunday.

My Sunday started out bad! I rushed in the morning, waited for ZaiShine for quite some time, cried in public and spent hours searching for Fig & Olive in HEELS! But things got better when we found Fig & Olive and finally had our lunch. Went to caught Breaking Dawn afterwards (yes I know I went to watch it twice even though i'm not a fan of it -.-) and then shopping for something..... special hehe. Ended our day at Vivo by snapping lame pictures at the roof and walking around in the water. Since it was late, we decided to cab back to Jurong and from Jurong, I took 172 back home. I just love bus rides!

Music: Jars Of Hearts - Christina Perri.

I’d run home, sit and cry almost everyday.

2011-11-25T23:43:00.002+08:00

Hi! I'm back with a new post, new blog song and not forgetting, I did adjustment to my blog skin, do you like it? And not forgetting with my outdated Prom pictures!

Prom was not as great as I expected it to be but it was not that bad either! I had fun snapping pictures with almost everyone heh.

Don't mind how messy the pictures are! There's around 77 pictures and i'm too lazy to use my image hosting website which will take a very long time to load so for the first time after years i'm using Blogger's image uploader and it's quite good, I will say but don't think I will use it again unless I need to upload quite a handful of pictures.

Anyways it's THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY (TGIF!!!)

How did yours went?

Mine was Family Friday! And it was wonderful to spent sometime with family even though there are arguments all the time sighz, me and my itchy mouth!

Hope you guys will have a good weekend, I hope I won't end up staying at home heh.

Nights all! *kisses

Music: Who's laughing now - Jessie J.

we banging out, that taylor gang.

2011-11-21T23:54:00.001+08:00

Hi my loves! Guess who reach Singapore today morning at 7am? ME. Quite sad to be back home because I was having a good time over at Geylang Patah :-( Hopefully one day I will earn enough to own a house there!

Anyways on the total side note: It's a few more minutes to 22/11/2011 which is the day of my Prom Night. I'm not really excited about it because I used my own cash for it and i'm pretty much broke :/

Since Prom was tml, I went out with Fiq to get my accessories and shopped a little over at Far East Plaza. Head over to Westmall's Swensen for dinner -- Fiq's treat and ended my day shopping for beauty supply. Fiq is quite a cool guy because he doesn't complain as much as others when I shop and he really gives good opinions (ok just kidding) HEH anyways a picture of Zayn Malik above because he thinks he's Zayn Malik.......... when he's obviously not an inch close :-P

Had a great day, thanks Fiq!

Good night all, x

Music: Black and Yellow (G-mix) - Wiz Khalifa feat Snoop Dogg, Juicy J & T-pain.

And keep talking that mess, that's fine but could you walk and talk at the same time?

2011-11-18T16:06:00.001+08:00

Did the random decision of deactivating both my Facebook and Formspring. So, i'm left with Tumblr, Twitter and this blog. Obviously, the Ts are my favourites compare to the Fs.

On the disappointing note; Zara called me up today and said there was a big mistake yesterday and I don't get the job. Well, I will get over it.

Right now all I need is the short getaway that I will be going later tonight. Don't miss me too much, updates will be on Twitter! Follow me hearts @sharenadwntwn

Till we meet again, x

Music: Irreplaceable - Beyonce.

والمس جروحى واداري هواه -- I touch my wounds and I make excuses for his love.

2011-11-17T22:56:00.002+08:00

Hi my loves! I hope you guys love the girlish touch I've done to my blog-skin. Well... what can I say? I love Pink to the fucking core.

I'm going to make this post short and sweet because I can't wait to cuddle in bed. I had a long day and I need to catch up on my beauty sleep.

The reason why i'm mad tired is because I had to wake up at 8:30am despite of sleeping as late at 5am. With only 3 hrs and 30 mins of sleep, I met Joyce over at Lot One to make our way to Toa Payoh to have my interview and guess what, I was selected for the job! So... from 11 December onwards, I will start working at ZARA -- Great World City and i'm pretty much hyped for it! Once I was done and over with the serious shit in the morning, we had our brunch over at Burger King and made our way to Town for some girly fun! Had a great day with my wonderful biatch and I also got the pair of heels, I've been eye-ing for. Yay me!

Happy because;
1. I got a job @ Zara.
2. Had a great day w Joyce.
3. Got the heels I wanted.
4. I'm going for another short getaway to Geylang Patah for some girly time w my aunt(s) and cousins tml.

So yes, i'm pretty much sleeping w a smile on my face tonight.

Wait... before that, here are some pictures I snapped today!

Totally last minute pictures and we both we so shagged!

Good night all! *kisses

Music: Ya Kethar / نانسى عجرم - يا كثر (Nancy Ajram)

Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts.

2011-11-17T00:34:00.001+08:00

Hi my loves! Are you shocked seeing 'Happy Birthday' above? Nope, this are not outdated pictures but this are pictures taken on Tuesday (well 2 days late). Kakak Moi and her boyfriend was so sweet like sugar to surprise me, Zaishine & Kak Naz with a cake to celebrate mine and Zaishine belated birthday and Kak Naz's advance birthday. Had Swensen for dinner and caught 23:59 afterwards. I had a great day with the female cousins + Habib!

On the total side note: I have 2 interviews today and gosh, i'm already having anxiety attack. Wish me good luck and keep me in your prayers.

Have a good Thursday all, x

Music: Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes feat Adam Levine. (on replay)

The time has come for my dreams to be heard. They will not be pushed aside and turned.

2011-11-16T00:38:00.005+08:00

When was the last time I actually bother to do a proper update! Extremely sorry for abandoning this space of mine, have not been busy or whatsoever. Still jobless so basically wasted my days going out and sleeping. I'm such a no life kid. I just cross fingers that I won't be jobless for long! I just hate staying in. Ugh! Just hope that the interview(s) I will be going on Thursday will FINALLY give me a proper job. Please keep me in your prayers!

Oh good lord, for now I can only update till here because I have nothing else to update on. I know i'm such a boring person :-(

Have a good mid-week all! What are you plans for this particular Wednesday?

PS: For tiny little updates on my life for every minute or seconds, you can follow me on Twitter @sharenadwntwn. It's not private anymore. Yay?

Music: Listen - Beyonce.

But to be honest, I wanted to hug you like before instead of walking pass you and acting like you weren’t even there.

2011-11-11T00:09:00.000+08:00

I waited for you for so long. I watched my phone, every night, waiting on a phone call that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I’d never get. I just wanted to hear you say that you were sorry for hurting me, and that maybe you wanted to get back together. I hoped and hoped that you saw me in the hallways, looking down at the floor and just know that I missed you. Because I thought you missed me too, you just didn’t know what you wanted But, I finally realized that you didn’t miss me at all, that I was definitely not what you wanted, and that I never meant that much to you. Anyways, it's your birthday today, Happy 19th Birthday Fahmi! :-)

Music: Dil Ne Yeh Kaha Hai - Dhadkan.

Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That's why girls wear make up; and boys lie.

2011-11-09T00:59:00.001+08:00

To The Sea from WSTRNCV on Vimeo.

FAHRANI EMPEL from MICHAEL COOLS on Vimeo.

I love Fahrani Empel.

It's Wednesday, Happy Mid-week all! x

Music: 22 - Lily Allen.

Some dudes know all the right things to say. When it comes down to it, it's all just a game.

2011-11-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

A sneak preview of how I look on Hari Raya Haji!

Hi my loves! I'm such a noob for not knowing that my blog was on private the whole time. I only realize it today around 1AM and I feel extremely bad about it! So I decided to give it a new look (do you love it?) and also changed my song playlist (I love Queen B).

This is an extremely short post because I've yet to get my Hari Raya Haji pictures! Once I get it, I promise a proper post :-)

Music: Long Way 2 Go - Cassie.

667

2011-11-04T16:39:00.002+08:00

Hi my loves! Another short update because time is running out for me!

I'm going for another short getaway from Singapore this Hari Raya Haji. I'm leaving Singapore later today around 7pm. I'm heading to Gelang Patah, Malaysia to celebrate Hari Raya Haji there with my families! Me and my female cousins are heading there first, other relatives will join us tml! So girls night for tonight. Sexcited ;-)

I'm really excited because

1. my first Hari Raya Haji out of Singapore.

2. I need another short getaway (too many shits running my head)

So yes, that's it! See you guys on Monday (7/11/2011)

& Happy Eid al-Adha to all the Muslims in the world! (in advance)

To all of you;

Not only for tml but for the rest of your lives! Bless you :-)

Good bye!

Music: Run The World (Girls) - Beyonce.

Never ready to let go.

2011-11-03T23:58:00.003+08:00

I shall take the advice and stop believing i'm a jinx.

Another short update for today! Just like yesterday I went out alone to job haunt since Wiyah couldn't make it (get well soon my dear!). I went to Plaza Singapura and it actually went quite well compare to yesterday! But I spent less than an hour there, therefore I decided to take the bus to Chinatown to grab a cup of Koi and took the bus back home (not literally home heh). One of the things you guys should know about me is I love long bus rides!

Anyways, I just changed the blog skin, I hope you guys like it! :-)

Good night loves! *kisses

Music: Price Tag - Jessie J feat B.O.B.

People tend to complicate their own lives, as if living weren’t already complicated enough.

2011-11-02T23:48:00.001+08:00

Lazy: Unwilling to work or use energy.

Ever since my holidays begin I have been a lazy ass. Doing basically nothing productive therefore today I decided to go job haunting. And since everyone I know was busy I went alone to Orchard area for a job in retail line. Retail because what else can a sixteen years old with only a PSLE certificate. Job haunting wasn't really that wonderful! Wrote down application form for two shops and the rest they asked me to sent a resume. I'm applying for a job at Ashley Isham boutique so keep me in prayers, I might get a good deal!

Anyways, I think I had an unproductive day so i'm going round two for job haunting with Wiyah tml! Wish me good luck :-D

Music: If I Never See Your Face Again - Maroon 5 feat Rihanna.

I think it’s official, I’m in love with Summer.

2011-11-01T19:29:00.001+08:00

Hi loves! Yes, i'm blogging early for today because I don't have plans for tonight so I guess i'm staying in. Anyways it's 1/11/2011 and I had a slack Tuesday. Went over to Lot One to catch Paranormal Activity 3 (outdated I know), lunch over at Pastamania and then head off for some karoke session at Kbox with my bitch, Joyce. Didn't snap any pictures so it's a short update for today! :-)

PS: Don't bother visiting my Kardashian tumblr. I deleted it already, (those fickle minded days)

Music: When I Grow Up - The Pussycat Dolls.

The truth is, I’m attracted to you. and I don’t know how to handle it.

2011-10-31T23:30:00.001+08:00

Hi loves! Guess who is back in Sg? ME. So mad happy to be back home! No don't get me wrong BKK was fine but I missed home and I didn't like (much) of the food there! My trip to BKK was alright, to be honest I expected more but I forget expectation leads to disappointment. Here are some pictures!

I went BKK as a whole piece and manage to come back as one whole piece. I don't know why the news keep saying that BKK was badly flooded and it's advised not to pay BKK a visit! It was fine, the only area that was flooded was the villages. The city was perfectly fine and was flooded with Angmohs! Angmohs are truly dare devils unlike Singaporeans. Such a pussy! (NO OFFENCE)

...............................................................................................................

Yes a picture of Amy Winehouse out of nowhere because I miss her! Yes, I miss Amy Winehouse. I've never met her or communicate with her but when I found out she was dead a part of me was literally gone because I really love her. She's one of the greatest singer alive and it's just sad that she's not around anymore. The reason I posted this picture as because my first night sleeping at the BKK hotel I dreamt that I was crying so badly and guess who came out to hugged me and comfort, Amy did! Yes, I clearly remember it eventhough I usually tend to forget my dreams. It's truly one of the most amazing dreams! I wish that it will really happen to me but it's too late and it's impossible. Anyways, #RIP AMY WINEHOUSE. You will always be in my heart and your music will always be part of my soul! I love you, xo

One the total side note: I just created a Tumblr for the Kardashians! Follow me: http://keepingupwiththe-kardashians.tumblr.com/

KISSES

Music: 1+1 - Beyonce.

The two are, of course, inseparable.

2011-10-28T02:13:00.001+08:00

Hi loves! Who was your Deepavali holidays? Mine was quite ok, didn't celebrate it like previous years since noone invited us over to their house :( Anyways, on the eve of Deepavali and on the day itself, I went to help out at my Mum's store since she was the only one working and manage to earn some kachings :-) Work wasn't that great since I hate interacting with people who doesn't speak English. So yeah work was bleargh but awesome at the same time. Awesome because my mum was such a joker!

Anyways this was some pictures from the eve of Deepavali! After work, ZaiShine fetched me and we walked all over town did a little shopping here and there. Ended our day over at Plaza Singapura, Thai Express for Dinner and I give it two thumbs up!

For the next 4 days, I won't be in Singapore. I need you to keep me in your prayers. I might be heading to one of the country which are having a HUGE problem. I might not come back alive so just keep me in your prayers, well if you love me :-P

Anyways I finally earn myself a holiday and I just need a break away from Singapore for some time. I hope you guys will have a great Halloween! I don't know how mine will be. Hopefully I will make it back and will be able to share with you guys how it was.

While I'm away, I cross-fingers for a good wi-fi at the hotel so I can tweet tweet tweet! Updates will be on Twitter (@sharenadwntwn)

Bye my loves! *kisses

Music: When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne.

the problem is that i still miss you regardless of the shitty manner in which you treated me.

2011-10-24T02:10:00.003+08:00

I'm the most fucked-up person this morning. The last time I felt this way was 9 months and 29 days ago when I decided to say bye to what I thought was the greatest person god had sent me and after all this time surviving, going through shits and pains I manage to finally move on and be happy with my life. But hold on, what cause me to move on? Was there someone to fill the spot? I honestly have been keeping it as a secret for months and days but today is my fucking last straw. I'm hurt what's new? I just feel like someone has just stabbed me right in my chest and all I want to do is cry but honestly no tears are rolling out of my eyes. Been through this shit too many times. I never learn from the first time. I don't know how many break-ups and split ups must I go through to learn not to give my heart away easily.

Because I'm feeling so fucked-up I also just realize, I've pushed too many people away from me and I left with just a few friends and this are the people I really love but guess what? I'm always the first one to make the move and it fucking hurts. Am I asking for too much? That's why from today onward I'm not going to call anyone anymore. If you want to talk to me, you find me. I'll be here waiting like a stupid fool.

This is so far the most crappiest post I ever wrote when I'm feeling depress. I think most of you don't understand about what i'm writing either. Never mind, who cares about me?

I just need a short getaway to feel much better about everything else. & Since it's Monday, I pray for a new beginning. I need to gain back all the confidence and once again, confidence = skinny/slim me. I don't have much time, prom is in a month time, oh no! (Great, I just made myself feel worst)

How I wish when I wake up, I can be as skinny as this bitch

Sighz :/

Anyways, I'm going to hit the sack right now! Time to sleep the pain away. I hope no tears will roll out of my eyes. I'm a strong, independent women I can do this.

Good-night, bless me!

Music: Misery Business - Paramore.

I also hate when you then go around and ask me if I know about it.

2011-10-23T00:17:00.002+08:00

Hi loves! Meet my best-friend! So sorry for such an unglam photo. This was taken on the 21st of October over at Town where we had girls time! It was great catching up with my best-friend. Me love you, Amirah <3

This were some photos that I manage/bother to snap during our date! Oh me and my best-friend are big fan/lover of Pastamania. We always have our meal there! :-)

(& opps, I just realize all of it is pictures of food! Sorry my bad ;>)

On the total side note; I found this wonderful quote on Tumblr!

The person you choose to be your partner in life should be someone who will help you to do the right things and make the right decisions, someone who will remind you of Allah and the fact that you are going to stand in front of Him alone one day; someone who helps you be a better and stronger you.

-- (Muslim) girls when you're finding a partner always find the right one, do not settle down for any ordinary Tom, Dick & Harry. Find the one that will guide you to the right path and not the wrong one. Hopefully I will find the right guy and I will go the right way. Amin! Bless you girls too ;-)

PS: Hope that I will have a wonderful day later! I need a good Sunday xx

Music: Did It On Em - Nicki Minaj.

I tell others I’m not sad yet deep down I’m actually not okay, who am I kidding seriously.

2011-10-22T02:23:00.001+08:00

I had a long Friday! & I'm mad tired.

Anyways, this is a short quiz I got from Tumblr. You guys can read through it to know a little bit more about me ;-)

LET'S GO

• A scar? I have a huge scar on my thighs because I drop a lighter TWICE on it and god I swear it didn't hurt at all for me! I'm such a weird :-)
• Age? Sweet sixteen.
• How are you feeling? Right now, bored zzz.
• What did you do last night? Watch videos on youtube on my mobile and sleep!
• The last person to hug you? My best-friend, Amirah!
• Favourite word? Bitch.
• What did you do last weekend? Saturday: Visited my baby cousin and aunt at the hospital. Sunday was spent w my cousin Zainab!
• Last time you cried? Too long ago, I can't remember.
• The last text you received? My bestfriend.
• What are you worried about at the moment? N LEVELS RESULTS OMGOSH.
• What did you have for breakfast? Pancakes w peanuts (malay style)
• Ever had your heart broken? 1001 times sighz :/
• Last person you texted? My bestfriend lol.
• Last person to kiss you? I think my boy cousin, Rauf lmao.
• Favourite book? LA candy by Lauren Conrad.
• Ever dated someone younger than you? Nope.
• Last person you saw? My mum <3
• Do you love anyone? Right now, my parents and my friends!
• Who is your best friend? Amirah <3
• Where you live? Teck Whye, Sg.
• How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 2 HOURS ZZZ
• The person you like? Starts with a F and ends with a N HE HE HE
• Your opinion on dating your ex? Been there, done that! Stupid and waste of time.
• Ever kissed a stranger? Nope.
• Are you happy? I guess so.
• Ever been in love? Mmm maybe yes maybe no. I don't even know myself.
• The meaning behind your url? Swingingmonsters? No meaning actually.
• Anyone on tumblr you don’t like? That dude from Malaysia that worship Lady Gaga.

Music: Sober - P!nk.

Passionate, sweet, happy, compassion.

2011-10-18T00:06:00.002+08:00

Hi loves! How I wish I can give interesting life updates but too bad, I can't because the past few days I have been babysitting this adorable boy! He's such a qt pie but at times, he can get so violent! This happens when you let your child watch too much Power Ranger.

Anyways, one "exciting" news for me and my family is we have a new baby girl! Say hello to Umaiza my new baby cousin. She's such a qt pie just like her brother but you can't blame them for being cute because it runs in the family well :P

On the total side note; Have you all watch this two qt pie on Ellen? Yes they made it to the Ellen show and Nicki Minaj came down to support them! It's truly amazing and it was so.... cute. How I wish I can hug Nicki Minaj like that :'(

One fact about me; Nicki Minaj is to be blame for my love for PINK. I love Pink thanks to Nicki Minaj and not forgetting the VS angels too!

Well I feel kinda relieved that I updated this space of mine and changed my blog song to Countdown by Beyonce. Hope you guys love the song!

Good night all *kisses

Music: Lighters - Bad Meet Evil feat Bruno Mars.

Tomorrow is too late. Do it today!

2011-10-12T19:37:00.002+08:00

Hi loves! Let me be honest, that actually I'm feeling very lazy to do this blog post but since I've promised myself that after N-levels I will update this site of mine often, I should to stick to my words, right?

Going to share with you guys some pictures that I took w Joyce yesterday over at Town. Sorry for the poor quality! Wasn't in the mood to snap any pics and I felt...... fat :'( When it's time of the month you always feel double your size thanks to the fact that it make you feel bloated (well at least, for me!)

We had lunch at Seoul Garden -- Ngee Ann City! One of my favourite places to dine-in because the food and drinks are all at free flow and and the best part is, you can make your own dessert - like Ice Kachang and not forgetting free flow of Ice Cream with toppings! But I honestly prefer Malaysia's outlet then Singapore's. No offence!

And call both of us slow/outdated because we just caught Johny English. It was two thumbs up! And i'm mad happy that I caught it because at first I was quite reluctant thanks to some bad reviews I heard around. But honestly, It was not bad at all!

Anyways, on the total side note; I'm suppose to be having my holidays right now but I'm still going back to school for some ICT module. Honestly I'm not loving it as it start as early as 8am and end at 5pm. It's super boring but for the sake for the Cambridge certificate that we will receive at the end of the examinations, I shall endure. After this 3 days, i'm done and then I can go job haunting! Any kind offer?

*kisses

Music: Just Dance - Lady Gaga feat Colby O'Donis

Couldn’t be anymore true.

2011-10-11T00:50:00.001+08:00

Hi loves! Pause my wonderful Destiny child's song and watch the video above! I found the video via Khloe Kardashian blog and I keep watching it on replay. The girl in the video is truly a cutie pie. She pulled of singing Nicki Minaj's Super Bass. It's not an easy song and she actually completed it. Wow?

Anyways on the total side note: Guess who's done with her N-levels? ME. He he but i'm totally not ready/nervous for my result :/

Bless me! *kisses

Music: Got Money - Lil Wayne feat T-Pain.

You never bothered and it fucking kills me.

2011-10-09T23:01:00.004+08:00

Hi loves! It's 10:55pm on a Sunday night and here I am blogging when i'm suppose to be revising for tml's paper. The break between my Maths Paper 2 and D&T paper killed my mood for studying. But thank god it's D&T!

Anyways, something is bothering the shit out of me. There's this one particular person keep asking me why I'm not attached yet. I honestly don't know why but I'm seriously annoyed by her question. Maybe because after a long time I finally learn to move on and here she is pressurizing me into a relationship. Single might be lonely at times but then.... being attached is not really that great either (well... for me!)

Anywho, who cares about being attached or single at the age of sixteen? Tml mark the end of my N levels which means I can finally go job haunting and enjoy my time with my friends! Not forgetting, something awesome awaits me at the end of the month. But it's just sad I won't be in Singapore for Halloween.

Well, I shall end my meaningless post right now and revise some D&T shits. Love you all!

Music: Give Me Everything - Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer.

I'll never find anyone to love that isn't fictional.

2011-10-07T15:47:00.007+08:00

Hello loves! I hope all of you are enjoying my blog song. It just bring back so many memories. I grew up listening to Destiny Child and since then Queen B has always been my favourite! She's just so wonderful in so many ways.

Anyways sorry for the disappearance! It's not that I was busy with N levels or anything like that, it's just one day something hit me that I have an ugly blog-skin so I decided to shut my blog down for a while and took some time to fix my blog-skin. I hope you guys love the new one! I didn't create it (where got time!) The credit is on the side :-)

While I was away, I turned sixteen! It was on a school day so I didn't really celebrate it, to be honest. I went to dinner with my parents, Zainab since her birthday was the day after mine and Sahira. We had dinner at Tandoori Walk over at Golden Landmark Hotel. And the food was two thumbs up! It was North Indian food btw. My image hosting website is being a bitch therefore I can't upload the pics :'(

Not only, I turned sixteen but I graduated from school too. Didn't enjoy myself on Graduation Day because it's sad to think that this might be the last year I will be in Unity Sec :'( Yes, school has been a bitch towards me in so many ways. People always say secondary school days will be the time of your life, and I swear, I don't feel that way at all. School is just full of fucked-up people. Made a wrong choice, 4 years ago. Anyways, putting the negativity aside. This is my wonderful class!

Some teachers are seriously fucked up but I swear, there are some teacher that I love to death! I just hope that it won't be my last year in school. I need, I want to be go Sec 5! So keep me in your prayers people =)

MUSIC: Yeh Ladka Hai Allah - Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum

I’m sorry if someone else is a dick. No. You shouldn’t have to apologize.

2011-09-26T12:58:00.001+08:00

The worst thing is loving someone when you know you shouldn't anymore. It's caring about someone, wondering how they are and what they're up to when the truth is they've stopped wondering about you a long time ago. The worst thing is remembering every single thing of your relationship when he's obviously long forgotten about you. The worst thing is missing him so much when he doesn't even realize you're gone. The worst thing is feeling the same as you ever did, knowing you shouldn't, because he doesn't anymore.

She’s a great actress.

2011-09-25T21:49:00.001+08:00

Bitch fit. I just don't get it why the fuck do you think it's ok for you to act like a bitch 24/7 towards everyone. Do you think you're the only one with feelings. You act like as if I have no feelings. It's not ok, and I'm sick and tired of your shits so from today onward, I'm going to shut myself down from you. I don't need any negative energy in my life. If only..............................

because it’s the best for the both of us. we’ve suffered enough.

2011-09-25T13:12:00.002+08:00

Music: Far East Movement - Like A G6 ft. The Cataracs, DEV

All the sudden, out of no where the feelings came back. I just realize if I want to imagine myself happy, I need to have you by side. But I will fight this feeling and I will wait because remember nothing is impossible. I will fight for this love. I'm still waiting for the right one, right time. Right now, let's go with the flow and ace N levels.

Well hello, i'm back! I have the whole Sunday to myself so why not update this space of mine. My life is still in a mess. I just don't know when the fuck I will fix it. I'm taking my own sweet time that sometimes, I feel like smacking my head right into the wall so I can wake the fuck up. My life is seriously a mess. Sucks to be me :'(

Anyways, on Friday I went to my aunt's open-house over at Bukit Merah but sadly my mood was down because I had a fucked up Friday therefore I didn't enjoy myself at all and was just counting down to time to head back home and cry myself to sleep. As for my Saturday, I had the whole house to myself for the whole day as my parents went to JB for my mum's cousin open-house and they only came back home around 2am. I gave it miss because I wanted to study but guess what, I went to ZaiShine's open-house instead wasted my day there. So in conclusion, I didn't study anything for the last two days. I am screwed.

Only took one picture over at ZaiShine's house and it's with Aisha.

On the total side note: My 16th birthday is in 3 days time and I honestly am not looking forward to it at all! For the last 3 years of my life, Fahmi was always the first one to wish/call me but this year..................... I just don't know how I will deal with it.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too.

I don't know whats hurting me. All of a sudden i would break down, cry until my eyes and ears hurt. The feeling is horrible. I don't know whats wrong.

2011-09-24T02:59:00.002+08:00

They say it gets worse before it gets better, so better has to be right around the corner, right?

Just admit it already, I'm not pretty. Stop saying it to make me feel better.

2011-09-18T16:22:00.003+08:00

Well hello, I'm such a noob! I didn't realize my blog was on private for the past 1 or 2 week. It wasn't intentionally, I set it on private because I was busy changing my blogskin and oh my, the process do take hours! My current blog skin might look simple and plain but the process to set it to perfect takes time and sweat.

Anyways I'm updating my blog because I suddenly feel motivated to blog. Ha ha no I'm just kidding, I was reading my favourite blogs for the past 30 minutes and I feel bad for leaving my blog space empty. Other bloggers really put in effort into blogging while I'm just a boring whore who just writes crappy shits. Well I honestly think nobody actually read my blog so who cares?

Life update: Miserable. Ha ha ha I've yet to fix my life! 2 weeks more and I'm acting like as if nothing is happening. I need someone to smack some sense into me! :-)

I'm letting today go but when tomorrow comes, i'm putting 101% into my life. I'm going to balance all my shits and hopefully I will be happy at the end of the day.

Let me end this blog post with a quote from my bf, Good things come in good time. - Wiz Khalifa <3

I just want things to go back to the way they were when we were talking.

2011-09-10T23:15:00.005+08:00

Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've sat in my room and cried, how many times I've lost hope, how many times I've been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back the tears, how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap but don't just for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head whenever I'm sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody knows me, and thats what I hate the most.

I wish I was good enough for you

2011-09-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

I am not happy with where I am and how I live and it's time for me to leave. Packing my bags might be easy but leaving the place is not as simple and easy as it seems. I hope for another chance, hope for a good future but I can never lock my mind into a positive mood. I have a lot in my plate but I just don't want to start right now. I'm a truly a confuse person and I don't know what to do. But I wouldn't say I have no aims at all right now, I do. I wish to ace my N levels and make it to Secondary 5. That's all I can ask for now, another 4 weeks more and I'll be done so it's now or never. But 4 weeks it's too long for my life to be a mess, it's time I fix shits up. More self-discipline, more love and let's toss hate into the garbage bin. I know, I'm a good person. I just have to wait for something good to pass by me, till then I will patiently wait.

Queen B.

This will always be my motivation. This video teaches me to work for things that I want in MY life. It teaches me that women should be independent and she's a good example of a successful women. Every time when I feel lost and I don't know which path to choose, I will watch the video above and it will never fail to motivate me. I adore Beyonce, and I will love her to death.

We all have our imperfections. But I'm human and you know, it's important to concentrate on other qualities besides outer beauty.

- Beyonce Knowles.

On a total side note: SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL THE MUSLIMS AROUND THE WORLD.

& HELLO SEPTEMBER.
Me love you all xx

Holy shit, this bitch is gonna bite me.

2011-08-28T02:24:00.003+08:00

Good Morning! It's another Sunday morning and here I am blogging. I honestly have nothing much to update about because my life nowadays basically revolve around shopping for Hari Raya. This year, I think, is the only year I went to Geylang for more than 6 times. My parents are insane. I swear this past few days/weeks, I've ever went to Geylang twice in a day! Not forgetting, entering JB at random times too! My parents are pretty hype for this year Hari Raya. I'm pretty excited but nervous, at the same time because the week after Hari Raya, I will be seating for my language N level papers :"( I only have confidence for my English and Malay papers. I am so MAD nervous for my Social Studies. Humanities used to be my best and favourite subject but right now I only have 25% of confidence in it.

Anyways, I feel like deleting this blog of mine and just focus on my Tumblr (@ikillonetwothreelove) but then, this blog has wonderful memories. Or maybe I should just private it? Just like what I did to @sharena-neversayso or should I just go MIA and leave a hiatus note. The reason why I want to somehow shut this space down is because 1. my readers has decrease dramatically :( 2. I usually don't have the mood/time to update. Last time I was so hype to update this space but right now, I find it a chore =/

But I don't want to have regrets and my instinct tell me, I will start updating here regurlary when I'm done with my papers. Because honestly, I love blogging. It's fun even though there's 101 cons. For now I should just ponder on what to do with this space of mine. Drop me a comment on what should I do on my formspring? The link is just above ^^.

If you want a daily update on my boring life; follow me on Twitter! @sharenadwntwn
It's private so you need to have an account to follow me. And let me warn you, it's up to me if I want to accept your request or not. Don't be a bitch. xoxo

There is no warning, no apparent reason. It just happens.

2011-08-21T02:51:00.001+08:00

Screw the fact that I must be asleep right now because I have a lot in my plate for later today. Screw all that. I miss blogging so much but with my N levels in 2 weeks time, I don't really have the time to seat down and blog a proper entry. Since I got time on a Sunday morning, why not update this dead space with spider webs hanging around. How I love bragging about the good times I had the past days/weeks but I don't think I have the time to do that :"( So let me just some pictures!

I did a random decision to catch Dance Arena 2011 with my female cousins and it was somehow, ok. The fact that I don't understand Tamil just suck balls, because I'm just there, seating down. Sighz.

Iftar with the cousins @ Geylang. And all us girls got the same jubahs, with different colours. Yay.

12082011 -- Went to karaoke, right after my prelim's D&T paper.

My life is a B O R I N G cycle. I can't wait to end my N Levels *winks.

Good night all! xoxo

Music: Deadly Weapons - Eyes Set To Kill.

No matter how much she tries to forget, it will forever be there.

2011-08-10T23:18:00.005+08:00

I NEED TO FIX MY LIFE.

Relationships fall and whither because eventually someone stops trying and it doesn’t feel the same. The first couple of months or even years it may be the best thing you ever wished for, but eventually someone loses feelings, gets to busy, or doesn’t even bother to try. You know what? Because they’re comfortable. The beginning is all about the chase. Can you keep up? If you can then you’ll get the hang of it and then you won’t want to try anymore. You aren’t afraid to lose them because they’re yours. Arguing leads to fighting and it just gets worse from there. It all flashes by so fast. So, cherish what you have.

When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip.

2011-08-10T00:42:00.001+08:00

Outdated photos of me, Zai and Aisha @ Town, a few Sundays ago!

Enjoy the pictures and have a great holiday! xxx

I think people make mistakes and they’re going to disappoint you, especially the people who love you most. And if you can’t forgive them for not being perfect, you’re going to end up alone.

And she’s just that type of girl who says she doesn’t care but deep inside you are the only thing she actually cares about.

2011-08-06T13:35:00.000+08:00

Just before the month of Ramadan begun, I got back my room all by myself once again so I decided to clean up a little here and a littler there. While I was cleaning up, I found my memories box. I'm actually a very attached person, I keep every little memories in a box, nobody knows exclude Cherry but here I am going to share w you guys what's in it. But let me warn you, I only have very little photos as I was more into reading and checking the box out then snapping photos. Confession: I actually sort of, some how hate snapping photos.

So here's how the box look like without it's cover.

My bad for making it look like JUNKS. But trust me, for me it's GOOD junks. It was what made my day, what made me smiled and I guess, some made me cried. Oh wells.... that's life, isn't it?

I found my birthday letter written by Joyce, and according to the letter we only had 5 months of friendship and right now were are going strong and bold 4 years 8 months friendship. I admit, there are times we fight, there are times when I'm a sour bitch towards her but I'm happy we always can overcome the situations easily and be friends back again, with our forever lame jokes. One thing about Joyce is she's honestly, a caring person and for 16 years of me living in this planet, I think she's one of the most caring person I ever met. And I'm greatful for having her in my life. Eventhough I don't express to her personally. It will be awkward? :')

My last year birthday card/letter from my best friend Amirah! For Amirah I honestly have so much to say about her, she's truly my best friend, I'm always acting like a fool around her but she's fine with it and she always laughing at me, like as if I'm some clown. But I'm fine and happy with the healthy relationship I have with her. This year we really toss away all the negative energy we had in our friendship circle and begin, freshly with just two of us. Right now I can say we made a good decision and I'm happy with it. Amirah, usually completes my day when I'm at school and I love her for that. Well, with Amirah, I never fail to remind her that I love her because I truly appericate having her around in my life :-D

Look at what I found! The 'secret' book my PRIMARY 6 best friends had! I think the book was shared among me, Kanneth, Afiqah and Sabrina. And let's say we were so close last time and right now, I'm only in contact with Kanneth and I've never met him for a year plus. The last 'meeting' was a coincident when I bumped into him at Bukit Batok Interchange. The girls has truly change! :"( I remember trying my best to be friends just like last time with Sabrina as she was my BFF and she somehow obviously show signs of her not wanting us anymore in her life. I wonder what went wrong! Sighz let's bygones be bygones, anyways I am happier without her in my life :-)

OMG I just realise that my intention to just show you guys what's inside the memories box has become a draggy post! Sorry my bad, let me speed things up for you guys.

Tickets collection. The earliest I had was 2008! Wow, when I was 13?

Remember we were all so in love with taking neoprint photos! Ha ha this was my collection, I think I stopped taking since year 2009. I finally............ grow up :")

Ok, I'm done w my memories box sharing! Honestly there's much more inside it but as I mention above, I was more into reading and checking it out more than snapping photos of it. And oh, I forget to inform, it's rhis box all contain FRIENDSHIP memories. Love? Well, that's another box, another thing.

Since I'm already at it, I shall be honest.

I've decided to move on since January and I see no point holding on to memories with Fahmi as it's a waste of time and the memories was bittersweet. Let's give sweet 60% and bitter 1000%, ha ha no I'm just kidding, 40%! I actually had a box full of the gift he bought me, letters, pictures and one day, I actually had the guts to walk to the big drain behind my house and dump everything inside. I know it's very dramatic but I did it, and my witness was Nayla. The reason why I threw at the drain is because I hope, he will see it as he always take a smoke break from school at that area. I wanted him to know, I'll be alright without him.

I didn't expect this to be a long post, my bad! I'm actually happy I wrote this post, and wrote some things out.

Since I have a long weekend ahead! I can forsee, me blogging soon......... cause I have some pictures to share some more :-D

From all this picture sharing, you guys should have guess I've finally fix my camera. Eventhough it still takes blurry picture, I'm happy w it.

Blog soon. Till then, xxx.

Maybe it did take a crisis to get to know yourself; maybe you needed to get whacked hard by life before you understood what you wanted out of it.

2011-07-27T12:14:00.001+08:00

I gave school a miss because I was too shagged to drag myself out of bed but guess what? I'm still going to AEP + Night Study later because................ I want to complete my D&T once and for all and also ace my N levels.

Anyways, I'm here because my formspring just got spam by some idiots who are not happy with the fact that I like Vanessa Hudgens. Well, I can't be bothered to entertain those losers so I deleted all my the questions. Take your time to spam again ok? :)

So... let me get my fact straight, once and for all.

I like Vanessa Hudgens not because of her music/acting career or because of her naked pic. I like her because 1) her personality. She's a bubbly and cute person. 2) Her sense of fashion. 3) (Call me shallow) but for me, she's really beautiful. That's all and nothing much.

The reason why I've been using her images as my display pic for almost every account I own in the cyber space is because I am forever insecure of myself. By now, my blog readers should know this fact by hard. Unless I have this type of body;

I will never be happy with myself. I will never have the confidence.

You might be thinking, here I am seeking for attention well fuck you, I am not. I don't have a slim/skinny body and go around telling people I am fat. I am really really fat. My weight is just acceptable for my body, thanks to the fact I'm tall.

I need to go and breathe now before I lose my breath later in school.
Till then, good bye! xxx

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

2011-07-20T20:00:00.000+08:00

That’s why I don’t tell people about us. They wouldn't understand, and I don't feel the need to explain, simply because I know in my heart how real it was… How real this is. When I think of you I can't help smiling, knowing that you've completed me somehow. I love you, not just for now, but for always, and I dream of the day that you'll take me in your arms again.

xxx

Life isn’t about money, it’s about making memories.

2011-07-12T21:24:00.001+08:00

I used to think that when I got older, the world would make so much more sense. But you know what? The older I get, the more confusing it is to me. The more complicated it is. Harder. You’d think we’d be getting better at it. But there’s just more and more chaos. The pieces- they’re everywhere. And nobody knows what to do about it. I find myself grasping, Nick. You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not only because it’s right, but because it would mean that such a thing is still possible? I want to believe that.

People say if a tear first drops from the left eye, its pain.

2011-07-04T02:03:00.000+08:00

Hello I'm back here blogging all thanks to the fact that it's Youth day and I have the chance to stay up late and blog. It's a little weird with my mum around but I'm fine with it.

School started a few days ago and me being a pig skipped the very first day of school due to laziness and screwed body clock. But manage to attend school regularly the next 4 days! Was a little draggy, but I pulled through. I love the new time table because it seems like time flew by and AEP has been better?

Negative note: Prelims in a month time and N levels in 3 months time. & I'm still fat :"( #foreverfat and can't help it.

Anyways, on Saturday 2nd of July went to town for Lunch with my cousin Zainab a.k.a ZaiShine! Her treat at Resto Surabaya and planned to catch Monte Carlo but guess what? We went from Lido > Cineleisure > Plaza Singapura > Cathy Cineplex and all the tickets was sold out. Disappointed so we just wasted time at Cathy Cineplex chilling, camwhoring (uber retarded photos, pardon) & talking about The Kardashians <3 We did stop by malls along the way cause I LOVE SHOPPING meanwhile ZaiShine was like whatever. We are totally opposite! And we hate each another.... LOL! :)

When the night came, met Aunt and Kak Moi @ Isetan for Bobbi Brown shopping and girls shopping! Had fun and ended our day with dinner @ Wendy's <3 I had a great Saturday exclude the fact.....

I CAME ACROSS A BITCH IN THE BUS.

She was as fat as hippo and she wore HEELS and stepped on my foot like a zillion times. The bus wasn't (badly) crowded. We were standing up and she had space and who the fuck she think she is, keep stepping on my feet? GAVE HER A FUCKING KICK. And her daughter got scared and dragged her aside. Seriously, don't.mess.with.me.

Me is Wiz Khalifa girlfriend. Me is gangster.

Ok shut up, super high @ 1:58am.

Music: Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

2011-06-24T21:45:00.002+08:00

Music: Sean Kingston - Letting Go (Dutty Love) ft. Nicki Minaj.

I'M BACK.

Back home and back blogging! Hello readers, 9 days away from home was a-w-e-s-o-m-e. I was treated like a princess and I finally made up my mind with what I want in life and what I don't want anymore. But sadly, I wrongly use a facial foam and I got allergies on my face and had to spent $120 on medical bills but I'm good, for now.

Right now, I'm just looking forward to going back to school and putting 101% of my energy studying and preparing for N levels since this holidays, I didn't have the chance because I was away and D&T took away half of my holidays.

Main focus in life: Studies and Family. Fuck everything else! :)

TGIF.

I had a great Friday.

I hate my indecisive mind.

2011-06-14T01:22:00.003+08:00

Picking myself up. My block list on Facebook is as long as Rapunzel hair and I think I'm just running away from everything, which is not good. I need to pick myself up. How much longer must I stay here and be afraid of everything. Well I can see that people have moved on, and I think it's my time. I didn't know the action I made totally change me. It's true when they say once you overcome your fear, you won't fear rejection. I think I made the right choice. But if it's not meant to be, well it's not meant to be. I will smile with my head up high.

For the next 7 to 10 days, I will follow my mum and go somewhere far away. I will meet people I'm close to and people I still want in my life. If you don't get the call, I'm sorry baby. While away somewhere quiet and peaceful, I hope to find myself and of course do hot housing. I want focus on my studies as well. I'm going to be in a place where I will have peace and quiet. I will be missing in action from Blogger, Tumblr, Formspring, Foursquare and Facebook. But still alive on Twitter, maybe 60% alive on Twitter since I have Twitter on my phone.

Honestly, I was reluctant to go as I thought I might miss my desktop but right now, I'm looking forward to it. Well, I need to BREATHE.

Those who have my number, well I will TRY to entertain you. My tweetpearls is ze best so I'm not going to be parted from them.

Till then,

xoxo.

We’re all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

2011-06-07T21:18:00.001+08:00

Hi :) I am finally smiling and back to my normal self. It's true when they say times heals everything. I finally realise, it's time for me to let go and be happy w myself. They say, you have to learn to love yourself first before you love someone. And I think, I really should do that first before investing my love for boys. Well... let's fuck love, focus on N levels, family and friends.

Anyways, the cousins celebrated Kak Moi's last Saturday!

Happy 22nd Birthday Kak Moi.

Dinner @ Swensens and Play Nation afterwards.

Had an awesome Saturday.

I’m scared of being unwanted.

2011-06-06T01:43:00.001+08:00

Everyone should just be fucking happy. Second night in a row, where I can't sleep and feel tears rolling down my cheeks. I am seriously torn and broken apart. It's been a long time since I feel like this. I was like this before but I picked myself up and moved on so why am I being such a pussy right now? I am going to pick myself up and be someone better in life. I shall focus on my school and being a good daughter to my parents. The rest doesn't matter for now. So fuck love, fuck friends. I am happy being alone.

You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.

Being with you is just like a roller coaster ride. Things just don’t go straight and easy.

2011-06-05T01:09:00.000+08:00

Every time, I'm down, I have this strong urge to blog. I guess you guys must be thinking I'm an emo or whatsoever. Honestly, I am not. I am actually cheerful person if you know me! But some nights, things get fucked. Right now, I'm not having the time of my life. It's only the beginning of the month and tonight I've cried more than a bucket. I just hate the fact that I have to give in all the time and nobody cares. Everybody is selfish but why does it seems like it's only me?

I am not having the time of my life. And I always looking forward to a brand new day but hopefully by Monday everything will be ok and I will put my life back on tracked. Well.. Monday because I know I will still be sour tomorrow. Tomorrow I swear won't be a good day for me, so don't try me.

Good night.

Happy 85th Birthday Marilyn!

2011-06-01T20:47:00.002+08:00

Caught the flu bug from the rain I caught yesterday so decided to give motivational talk in school a miss today. So I stayed home as the not going to school plan was not expected and randomly caught a movie; Sin Nombre.

Happy that I caught it and am proud to say, I've finally updated my favourite movie list! I've added Sin Nombre to my favourite movie list and will give it 6/5** Yes, it's mad awesome! Well... at least for me? :)

I cried while watching the movie and I don't know how I used to be so bitter. I used to HATE movies with happy endings, I will be like "so fake" but right now, all I want is movie to have happy endings. I don't know why. If the heroine or hero dies in the movie, my heart will really sink and I will really cry. I don't know is it because in my life, many people left or is it i'm an emotional freak. I just don't know why, but I request for movies to please have good endings. My heart can't deal w sad endings.

Yes, I am not strong as I look like :(

when you wake up and then just sit there trying to remember the dream you just had.

2011-05-31T21:31:00.001+08:00

All the way back to 2010. When I was a girl and you was a boy.

shopping is cheaper then a psychiatrist.

2011-05-30T00:55:00.001+08:00

Indecisive. I hate it when I'm usually feeling ok and smiling, something just have to set in and make me feel like shit. Yes, shit. My definition of shitty feeling is; regret or guilt. Honestly, I'm always disappointed w myself at the end of the day. I'm usually like "I should have not said that..." Basically, my mouth ruins me and make me feel guilty all the time. Sometimes, I wish I can take back words and not appear to be so rude. But, I just can't, it's too late and at the particular moment if I'm in anger, everything just shuts down. But this past few months, I've learned to shut down. And that's not really good because if the person on the other line is screaming or yelling at me on the phone and I go silent, sometimes it frustrates the person and then beep, the person will hang up and make me feel shitty. But I think it's so much better to go silent then to argue back. It shows the respect I have for the person and I think, the particular person I'm talking about deserve all the respect I have in the world. How I wish, I can mention the person name but sadly, I'm too ashame. Because after all, I'm a disappointment.

To amend the mistake, I did last night, I'm going to wake up early later to clean the mess/shit I've done. Hopefully it will put a smile on the person face but I fear another argument. And yes, I did the mistake last night and I was totally numb about until today when I was staring at the desktop and the guilt and regret hit me. But hopefully, this won't happen....

I have this bad habit, and it kills me every single morning. Sometimes, I set my alarm early to make sure I will get ready earlier and meet the person on time but guess what? I will snooze my alarm a dozen times and will go late to the dates or meetings. Honestly, i'm so immune to it that I don't feel bad but it's not good, not healthy. I need to change this habit of mine.

Talking about change, will bring me back to the my favorite topic, someone new, someone better. No matter, how important other things are, I always want one changes which is.....

Skinner bodies like the Victoria Secret's model. I don't know what got into me. Seriously. I use to be so full of myself and always think that curvy body was nicer but ever since, I've join tumblr, all I want is a skinny body. I want it so badly.I always imagine the new me as a skinner person. I have this thinking that skinner person have more self-esteem and confidence than me. I always thought so. And at this age, I really need the confidence and self-esteem.

Other than skinny body, there's other characteristics of me I would like to change and not forgetting my closet. My closet is full of clothes, that I don't really enjoying wearing anymore. How I wish... plain jane coach will come my house and give me a makeover but we all know it's impossible. HA HA. Other closet/body, my characteristics, attitude and studies need a mega makeover. I have so much ranting to do on my attitude and characteristics but it will be embarrassing for me to state it here so let's move on to studies.

Recently, I got back my MYE results and it was satisfying for me but on the negative note, I failed two subjects which are my worst subject, Mathematics and Science. I wouldn't give two cents of attention to Science because I don't wish to take it as my best subject for N levels. My mathematics was worrying because I failed quite badly and am worried for N levels as the requirement to Sec 5 requires a pass for Maths. My mum also look disappointed on my Maths result and I didn't like the look of her face. I'm more preserve to work harder now to make it for my maths but hopefully, all this won't be empty words. Science? Fuck science. If it was just Chemistry, I will be more than happy to work along w Mrs Chiew and Ms Choo for an A but Physics just come in the picture and destroy everything. I definitely have no confidence for Science and all thanks to Physics.

I.NEED.TO.MOVE.THE.FUCK.ON It's been so long and I don't know why I bother holding on. It's like holding on to a piece of burnt ribbon in the wind. Holding on to something useless and is no longer something I want in life. I will admit, I'm 75% over him but when I think of how the ending was unfair to me and how it was never my fault, it makes me feel hurt. Someone else became the judge of our relationship. And the best part is, I don't know how he felt. Was he wasting his time on me. I always have the urge to do it better, fantasy -- he's always in it, at least not him, his bloods. I want them to see, I can do it so much better but I think, it's a failure. And to continue not to embarrassed myself, I have to pick myself up and move on. No point, proving myself when all I get is a look and then nothing else, definitely no compliments. Long sharped nose poking in air. Ugly bitches.

I was at the stage of giving up everything just for one guy. I was smiling thinking of him, every time 24/7 but then after weeks and months, I see no point of smiling anymore. Because the distance is a killer and everything is just impossible. Who am I kidding? Here I am and he might be there fucking some whore. Who knows?

So... I'm going to pick myself up and move the fuck on. Be someone better, and slowly remove those I don't need in my life.

Sorry for the rant! And I realize it's been a while since I do such a long post. To be honest, I had no plans to do this post. Just something random and it somehow made me feel much better. I guess, I should update more often and not leave spider webs hanging around? Alright, got to hit the sheets, as you can read from above ^^ I need to get up early to amends my mistake so good night but before I go a pic of me....

In an abandon mall toilet, and yay to Hyddy in the pic. Haha! :)

I don't want to be your "favorite" or your "best." I want to be your "only" and fuck the rest.

2011-05-28T13:04:00.000+08:00

And you get to a point where you stop feeling sorry for yourself. You realize no one’s going to save you, so you have to save yourself. You turn your life around, not knowing where you’re going, just knowing that you’ll do anything, anything to be happy again.

So you're really gone. You've got another girlfriend. I feel sick right now but at the same time, I feel kind of relieved. I'm not sure what my true emotion is because I had nearly managed to convince myself that I was over you but at the same time, I knew I really wasn't.

Even though you know that I know, half of me wishes that one day you'll look into my eyes and confess your feelings for me. The other half wishes you won't, because I wouldn't know how to react.

But honestly, I hope she hurts you. I hope you get a taste of your own medicine.

I wanted to text you. But then I remembered we don’t talk anymore.

2011-05-22T22:56:00.003+08:00

That's me and ZaiShine before we went to Kak Naz's house on Saturday for our family gathering. Family gathering was great! After months of not meeting each another, it was good to see each another face. Not forgetting, awesome food! :) Slept over Kak Naz's house w Zai! We went to caught a late night horror flick -- Insidious! Which is quite a great movie I will say, will give it 7/10** Overall, I had a great weekend over @ Kak Naz's house. Nothing feels good as lepaking around and awesome food!

Back to reality, school tml!!! After a week away from school, I am somehow looking forward to school cause I honestly am sick and tired of rotting @ home and going out -- and spending money -.- There's only 4 days of school left and then it's the HOLIDAYS so I should just endure, right?

Am I looking forward to the HOLIDAYS? FUCK YES.

Am going to start something new! *cheeky smile.

Good night! xx

[Music: Rolling In The Deep - Adele]

❒ SINGLE ❒ TAKEN ✔ I NEED MONEY. LOTS OF MONEY.

2011-05-21T00:39:00.000+08:00

She was breaking but she held on tight. That's how much she thinks of you, no matter how much she's breaking, no matter how much pain you're causing her, she'll always find something good about you. That's how much you matter to her.

When you’re young everything feels like the end of the world. But it’s not it’s just the beginning, you might have to meet a few more jerks. but one day you’re gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you.

When people don’t realize that what they say actually hurts you.

2011-05-16T22:55:00.002+08:00

It's Monday, May 16th and today was my marking day so I had the wonderful chance to wake up @ 10am and meet Joyce @ 11:30am @ CCK. Head down to 313 first to get my oversize rings @ F21 but to my disapointment, nothing attracted me as it was full if 'T's ring. But while we were @ 313 -- we acted like fools @ the apple store.

HE HE.

Went over to Orchard Central just to visit the chio toilet and then trained back to Orchard to have our lunch @ Wendy's! Had our burger and fries and decided to just stay in till the movie starts. So.. while seating down and waiting for time to fly. We talked about everything that revolves in school and snacked on....

I would't say it's awesome stuff. The baked potato with cheese and chili was fine but the all chili beef was disappointing :'(

Before we knew it it was already 4:20pm, so made our way to Lido Shaw House to catch...........

BEASTLY. Yes, finally caught it!

It was an awesome movie, I will give it 8/10**

And then Far East Plaza and went separate ways. I stayed a little longer @ Town tho.

On 14th May, I decided to meet my BabyG -- Hyddy! Did a small mini celebration for her belated birthday.

The girl is always talking about Spicy Nuggets so I got 9 pieces of Spicy Nuggets and lighted it up for her birthday! He he, didn't sang her any birthday song tho because it's akward as we were in a abandon mall. LMAO. Had Koi afterwards and the girl went off to work and went back home. I will say it was a small-meet-up :)

Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you quit, try.

2011-05-14T01:35:00.000+08:00

I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not expect perfection from you. It means that I will stand by you and be there for you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you’re unhappy or cranky, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough to not let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me.

Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.

Good night! xoxo

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.

2011-05-10T18:41:00.002+08:00

My life has been a bore. There's nothing much to say about it since it's the examinations period. How I wish I can say I stayed in the whole time and study but honestly, I did not. I have been feeling kinda lazy this few days and am feeling lazy right now also! I'm having my Maths Paper 2 and Physic paper tml and here I am still? I have to start studying Physics at 7pm and browse through my Maths file later at night. I had my Social Studies and Maths Paper 1 -- I honestly feel I did ok for Maths Paper 1, I had the achievement feeling cause finally I can do the maths paper without hesitation -- thanks to last minute morning studying and also Lilian <3 which is my tuition teacher. But I don't know how the result will be? A just pass will be pretty? My Social Studies -- I totally screwed it. I screwed it really bad and I feel disappointed in myself because Humanities is one of my best subject and I can't believe I didn't even manage to complete the paper. I will not repeat the same mistakes, this coming Thursday. Nope, I will not. I shall not stay here any longer and rant, I should chiong my physics all the way till 10pm! Wish me Goodluck for MYE :)

I can’t talk to somebody about my feelings, I just can’t.

2011-05-04T21:48:00.002+08:00

The thing is, I love you. I always have and I always will. I want to grow up with you, marry you, and live in the same house as you. Wake up in the morning with your warm hugs and kisses. I love you so much that I can’t possibly see myself with anyone else but you.

Papers. Tml mark the beginning of Mid-Years Examinations for me. Honestly, I have no feelings for tml paper as it is Mother Tongue. I'm only nervous for my Mathematics & Science paper. I think I will do ok for the rest? Hopefully :) Anyways update on life is I'm a no-life bitch because I have no money in my wallet. Never mind that, I shall endue it till May 15 which is (coincidentally two days after my papers) for my allowance. Then, I will party like it's hot. Till then.... books and notes *sighz.

Goodnight, off to a little revision for Malay.
希望我明天的马来文祝你好运！

You make me feel out of my element, like I’m walking on broken glass.

2011-05-02T01:09:00.000+08:00

World. Nobody believe me when I say I can't stay in. Nobody does. I suffered like crazy on Saturday. I couldn't seat. I didn't know what to do. I was walking in circle and I looked like a depressed kid. Don't believe asked my dad but he knows me too well but sadly, he couldn't be bothered because it's 100% my fault because I bust my April's allowance so badly. I only stepped out the house at 9:30pm and that was to have dinner @ Sinaran but it was kind of a relief. It felt good dressing up a little.

Anyways because I suffered like crazy when I stayed in plus I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes so I asked Hyddy out on a study date to Jurong Point. Wanted to study @ the library but guess what, it was closed. We settle at LJS and I did some work but it was an unproductive studying date. Then.. we decided to walked around JP and I think we spent 1 hour 30 minutes walking around, entering almost all the shops and we did nothing. Had Ban Mian for dinner and then head back to CCK -- Lot One and we just walked around! Spent in 45 minutes in Popular, filled my basket but the very last minute decided not to buy anything. Mhm, yeap I'm cool like that.

& For the first time, I survive a whole freaking day OUT of house with $10 ONLY. He he *pats on my back.

Money spent on -- Chewy Junior, Yami Yoghurt, Ban Mian & Mineral Water.

Yes, all for consuming :(

If I keep eating... when will I get such a body?

Sorry for my forever obsession, wanting to be skinny but the day will never... come :(

I’m always happy. And apparently that’s a problem because people always try to shut me down because of it.

2011-04-25T21:26:00.003+08:00

I'M BACK.

I'm back from Lotus Desaru! Which was two thumbs up and I really enjoyed myself. To be honest, it was so much better than what I expected. Highlight of the trip was; me and 2 cousin + 2 aunty falling out of the banana boat in the middle of the sea. It was a great experience tho but definitely life threatening.

Now that I'm back, life has to go on, right? Reality check: Exams are in a few DAYS time! And to be honest, I just started my revisions. I don't feel guilty YET but am very sure, I will soon feel the kick in the ass when the days come nearer.

Anyways I want to share w you guys this wonderful trailer!

I've been watching for the past 15 minutes on replay! It's not yet released in Singapore and I heard it's going to be around May but I'm so excited for it. I have this strong urge to catch it online since as you can see from the trailer it's already release in America -- last year July 30th but I will hold on and watch it at the big screen when it's released in Sg. Excited. Vanessa Anne Hudgens <3

Side note: Am feeling very hungry and having the craving for Kebab :(

People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

2011-04-22T00:51:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes, "I'm sorry" isn't enough - especially if it's been overused and abused. It loses it's meaning, you know? So the next time you say you're sorry, ask yourself if you really are."

GOOD BYE SINGAPORE.

I feel so numb right now. It feels like there is a wall built up inside me that needs to be torn down so I can feel again. The worst part is, I don't know how to tear it down.

2011-04-20T19:48:00.002+08:00

Annoyed. I don't know why but it seems like I'm the only one around here who has a brain. I'm not talking big or whatsoever but I'm sick and tired of people coming up to me for advice or ask me to make a important decision for them when they can actually do it by themselves. Sometimes I know, I know it's so much better to have a second opinion. Well... I don't mind that but what I hate, detest is when you asked me something and I fucking cracked my brain for you and you find every word in the dictionary to go against me. Sounds familiar? Yes. Familiar because it keeps happening to me and mind you it's not from the same person. I always wonder and always wanted to ask someone Why am I always dealing with retards? Yes, I said it. I think if you have a brain, you should use it.

I also hate it when dumb people trying to act smart and go against me? Like seriously bitch? Seriously? I've never lost, never and never will. Before trying to be all smart and stuff, please think is there a purpose of you living in this world? Fucking piece of useless crap. --> You know who you are.

So much of my pledge to not be vulgar and think twice before I say something to someone. But seriously, I can't take it or tolerate it anymore. I'm looking forward to my vacation this Friday -- I need to CHILL!

Before I go, sorry for the rant and...........

Happy 17th Hyddy <3

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

i’m just sitting here like, am i supposed to feel guilty or something?

2011-04-19T20:18:00.000+08:00

Physical Education. One of the main reason I hate school is because it has Physical Education as a compulsory subject in school. Yesterday I had my napfa 5 stations test and yay me cause I screwed all of it exclude my sit and reach and shuttle run. The rest is a fail! (Y) Due to ysterday Napfa test I woke up (late) and my whole body was aching especially my hips and I had fucking mensus cramp so I decided to stay in and rest and I kept thinking to myself; "how can I have such a body if I don't/can't work out?"

SIGHZ.

#FOREVERFAT

I desire the things which will destroy me in the end.

2011-04-16T22:52:00.002+08:00

Meet Jade. She killed herself three days after making this video.. and she was so pretty.

Teenage suicide accounts for 31,000 suicides a year in the U.S, making it the 3rd leading cause of suicide. Worldwide, nearly one million people commit suicide every year.. more than those murdered or killed in war.

Think before you say something hurtful to someone else. It may look like they’re okay, but they're not. Words are more powerful than you think.

-- My eyes are still quite watery, I watched the video above for more than 5 times and I keep crying. Because she's so beautiful and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. It taught me a great lesson, it taught me to be more careful with my words, with who I say things to. I never thought a video will give me a wake up call, I never thought. From today onwards, I pledge to stop calling people names and I pledge to stop being vulgar. How ever angry I am, I will and shall not use any vulgarities.

Anyways, today is Saturday! The day I've been waiting for since Tuesday. My Saturday was pretty much the same as last week's. There's not much difference. Chores > Lunch > Town > Dinner > Home Sweet Home. And yes, I didn't study! Sighz MYE is just around the corner and I'm still a bummer. I need to WAKE UP.

I feel so guilty. I shall go off right now and study! Shall do 2 chapters of Physic and come back online later!

I was in love with a boy. He was made of dreams. But dreams don't last forever. Eventually you have to wake up.

2011-04-11T21:18:00.001+08:00

Confession. I need someone to mince me! I skipped school today because at 6am, I made a decision to stay in to study. I wanted to complete 8 chapters of science but guess what? I didn't even manage to complete one chapter or even sub-topic. Such a useless bum? Not only that, I will be having my Mid Year's English oral tml and guess what? I'm not even prepared! But i'm 40% ok because how bad can someone flunk english, right? And oh last but not least I will be having MALAY idioms test tml and I've not even revise on them. Such an asshole. I know. Sighz but don't blame! Blame these guys;

#current addiction. I need some help. I need a doctor.

I promise a better + hard working me tml. Just stand by my side, ok?

Love you guys.

Maybe wishing at 11:11 doesn’t work. Maybe it’s stupid. But I’ll take all the chances I can get to make my wish come true.

2011-04-10T00:40:00.003+08:00

Breathe - when was the actual time you actually breath and feel warm in the soul? It's been a long time since I feel that way. I was either to depress or tired! Saturday 9 April 2011 -- After weeks of not getting the chance to wake up late, I finally got the chance to cuddle w my dearest pillow in bed till 10am+. Last time/year, waking up at 10am is literally early and waking up after 1pm is a habit and it was everyday routine. I actually learn that by waking up late we are actually wasting our time. To be honest, what can we really do if we stay up till late at night when we're single, right? "don't believe the things you tell yourself late at night"

My Saturday morning, was spent in-front of the desktop watching Numbnuts videos! It literally made my morning and for that I don't need a 5 star hotel quality breakfast. My afternoon was spent on chores -- just like any other Saturday. But I'm not really complaining because I think as the ONLY daughter in the house, I should help out around, right? Don't want to be a free loader. Everyone has a part. And then back to the bed to rest. Something I've been craving for weeks, it felt so good. I was literally smiling like a stupid fool. My evening was spent at town, I met up with Yan first at CCK and made my way to town with him. Had my favourite Sour Milk and decided to meet the parents up for dinner. Thank god, my dad was already @ FEP! Went to Little India for dinner since mum was craving for Indian food. Dinner was two thumbs up but the area is really, annoying.

From today onwards, I should really treasure my time. My procrastination habit is making my life a mess. Every Saturday should be my rest day. I should really take a break from school on weekends.

Wow oh wow, this is quite a long post. It's been a long time since I got the chance to actually seat down and blog. Feels so good! I wish I can rant more here but I got to go, I'm very excited to catch Numbnuts Hot Seat video! I didn't get a chance to catch them live so I shall watch the encore :)

Goodnight, xoxo.

I’m not giving up. I refuse to let go of the single best thing that has ever stepped foot into my life.

2011-04-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

I think I've somehow done it. It took me more than 2 years! But I think i'm not 100% accepting the fact that everything had ended but slowly, I will. I'm stronger now because I'm starting to accept that People Change and People Leave. I'm over you but I still have the want to do be much better than her so what does this mean now? =/

It's Thursday, Thursday, Thursday! One more day to Friday, Friday, Friday! I've been looking forward to Friday since Monday! But I really hope tml AEP will be canceled so I can go home and get some beauty sleep. For the past 2 weeks, I 've been sleeping less than 6 hours a day! Sighz.. Am somehow looking for forward to the weekends even though I know my Saturday will be dedicated to the books! Hopefully I will stick my butt at home unlike the previous Saturdays.

Good Thursday all! xx

I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.

2011-04-06T19:11:00.000+08:00

Almost everyday of my life and it somehow completes my day and make my chin goes up a little when I'm tired or sad. Something I never plan to do but I actually did it. Opps? I bet more people will be disappointed in me and the decision I made but THIS. IS. MY. LIFE. And sorry I'm not some whiny bitch that goes to friend only when I have a problem so don't use dramatic lines on me. You guys will never know my tiny mini little secret but I bet the close ones already knows ;)

Anyways it's very rare for me to be happy during tiring days. I'm usually cranky, well 85% of the time. My last weekend was 98% out of house and I didn't get any rest and it's eating me up till today. The feeling of tired never actually left me since last week Monday till today! I've never have solid rest for a very long time and that's one of the reason why I'm looking forward to the weekend & short getaway from S'pore last week of this month.

I have strong feeling that today I will be happy, tml or some days later I will be upset. Well, people don't just like seeing me happy. We will see how it goes? :)

When you fall, get back up again. Don't let people know you are down because some people like seeing you fall.

2011-04-02T22:58:00.001+08:00

My second time @ Universal Studios Singapore was great! The other time I went, the wet ride was down due to some technical issues and the two-gigantic-roller coaster wasn't ready yet. This time, every thing was working well and opened! Thank god. Had a great experience taking the roller coaster, it was awesome but the aftermaths of the ride was really terrible but somehow I managed it. I brought my camera along but guess what? Didn't take much pictures. I really don't have the habit of camwhoring or taking pictures of places. The first time I went, I was kinda excited so I took some pictures so let me share it w you guys?

All the pictures are not taken today!

I really wish you would love me, even if it isn’t the way i love you, i just wish you would care. that’s all i want. is for you to care.

2011-03-30T20:12:00.001+08:00

Ignorant little fools. I'm am extremely unhappy when you come to me for my opinions and when I give you my answer or opinions, you find every word in this fucking word and go against me. Like hello? If you had an answer and somehow already made a decision, why did you approach me? To start a fight, I guess. Never mind that, I've been giving you cold treatments and not even 2 cents of attention which simply means I don't want to see or talk to you but you just have to get on my nerves with your craps. Do I look like some consultant or decision maker here? Obviously not and I wouldn't care less about your issues with your boyfriend or even your best friend. Two faced bitch with a pretty face. You think you have everything because you own a pretty face? Well hold up. I've enough of your bullshits. Be gone! x

Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not.

2011-03-28T19:35:00.000+08:00

Why doesn't this type of guy exist in my life? Why do I get jerks and hopeless fools in my life?

Monday blues was w me the whole day. My Monday in school was fill w unhappiness which cause me to sleep for more than 4 periods (Y) Unhappiness that comes for no reason. I guess it's just another Monday blues. Hoping tml will be a much better day? ;) Always stay positive and my oh I love ysterday dream so much.

Goodnight! xx

A girl’s laughter is much more cheerful than a boy’s. But a boy’s tear is much more meaningful than a girl’s.

2011-03-27T20:00:00.000+08:00

Such advise never fail to make me think twice or thrice. Yesterday post was totally random and it somehow sums up what I'm usually thinking all the time but I'm cool w it. I'm cool being alone and whatsoever. I've done the most smartest thing ever yesternight. I called that special someone at midnight and pretend that I was on too many drugs and was dieing very soon, from that particular phone call I figure out, what I held for the last 2 years was actually something because he cried and he apologised. If he feels guilty, I know what the he's next step will be so I will just wait. If it ever comes.....

He he I've grown stronger over night and after that particular phone call.

My focus in life from now onwards will be....

FAMILY.

SKINNY body and last but not least, N-LEVEL.

I won't give a flying fuck about friends or people anymore. What are friends but a group of people that will somehow backstab you in a way or another? I'm stronger now. This new week, here we go again! ♥

I want to let you go but I don’t want anyone else to have you. Selfish me huh?

2011-03-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

They asked me why I ever liked him. I shrugged and pretended I didn't know why. Then they said, there's nothing to like, he's not the best looking, he's not the nicest guy out there, and he’s not the smartest one either. But when they walked away, I whispered to myself, "He might not be the best looking, but to me he's beautiful. He might not be the nicest guy to the rest of the world, but he's nice to me. And he might not be the smartest one, but he didn't have to be. He was the realest guy I knew then, and that made him perfect."

Sometimes I feel really lonely, like there's no one in the world who I can talk to. I cry all the time. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but they're not much help. They don’t give me any advice. It's just the typical superficial "aaw are you okay," never any advice or anything helpful. I want a person who will at least be there for me when I need them the most.

Baby you're the best I ever had <3

I know I’m full of insecurities and disappointments, but I promise you there’s a part of me worth keeping.

2011-03-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

Friday. I snoozed my alarm in the morning when I was suppose to wake up because I was not ready for school. Dragged myself to school and survived school till the end. Home sweet home @ 1:15pm and by 3:00pm, I was already in the car at the check point entering Malaysia. Wasted my day @ Malaysia -- Gelang Patah for hours and had dinner @ Jusco. For the first time of my life I enjoyed, an ice-cream that taste like coffee. Yummy. Everything was going right and perfect until someone decided to say something hurtful. Well, guess what? FUCK YOU.

My dream guy is someone who is smart, funny, good looking, overly romantic, sweet, and kind. Someone who can hold a conversation. Someone who can love me.

2011-03-23T20:05:00.004+08:00

Never cry for anyone in your life, because those you cry for don’t deserve your tears and those who are deserving will never let you cry.

2011-03-21T00:16:00.002+08:00

First day of term 2 and I'm not in school. Mr Red decided to pay me a visit today and when he comes, the pain comes. The pain he gives, never fail to make me hate being a girl, never fail to make me stay in bed. I'm always always in bed when he comes for a visit. Life is a living hell when he's around. I can't wait for him to get the fuck off my life. I will be suffering everyday for the next 8-10days.

When I'm having my period, I will act like a bitch and my thoughts will start going all over the place. But thank god today, my thought didn't really care about anyone, I was more concern about myself. About my WEIGHT. I'm at an acceptable weight but I don't want to be this weight forever so I need to lose weight. I hope to lose min. 5kg before my short getaway from Singapore coming April. I want to go on a holiday and will be able to eat without thinking about gaining weight and start ruining my own mood. As much as I want to be skinny, I know I can't. It takes effort and time, but I really wish I can go back to the 50kg range.

This girls bodies are bodies that almost every girl at my age wants. Some girls of course prefer thick bodies and not bones. I was one of the girls who wanted to be thick and not skinny but ever since I join Tumblr and also upgraded myself by going out more, I realize that skinny body can pull of any clothes and they look fucking chio when they camwhore!

My obsession with fashion and high fashion, also gives me the perk to be skinny! Just look at how skinny and tall this girls are! So yummy.

Tumblr make me want a skinny body more than anything else in the world. If only we can wish for something and it will come true! Sadly, I need to work hard if I want to be a size 6. It begins from today onwards. Good luck to me!

I hate when people say only thin is beautiful, or say size 0 is not an actual size. You know what? I think ALL people are beautiful. Curvy, skinny, chubby, short, tall, fat, rail thin, light hair, dark hair, light skin, dark skin, wrinkles, blemishes, cellulite, blue eyes, brown eyes, all eyes, lips, teeth, arms, legs, hearts, minds. We’re all beautiful, and I think it’s time to let the world know.

And I’m still wondering why I really really like you.

2011-03-18T22:29:00.002+08:00

This will be my life motto from now onwards. I have enough of people from the past appearing in my life once in a while and take my heart at whole when they go away. Friends? What are friends nowadays but groups of girls that stab in your back. I really would like to thank god, for showing me some of the girls true colours and also giving some great girl friends. They mean they world to me even though two of my barbies are not in Sg right now. Norra & Cherry, one at Switzerland and the other at New Zealand, have fun there and come back soon! You know I miss you both. In this life time of mine, I really understand the line "bros over hoes." Guy friends are really so much better than girl friends, happy to know I've NEVER lose any guy friend in my life before exclude one -- but who gives a damn about some guy who is henpecked, right? This really sounds pathetic, me ranting about people in my life. Mhm, what should I write about then?

My school break is going to be over in 2 days time. Didn't get to do much and I wanted to relax from school and but I still went back to school for lessons and had assignments to do. But at least this break, I didn't waste time on the computer -- SO NO LIFE or just rot at home. I was either out or busy doing something. And thank god unlike my last break I didn't spent every day of my life at town, I am a little bit guilty of visiting town w/o my parents but..... err can't help it? There's only one outlet for Sour Milk which is @ town!!! I'm so so in love w Sour Milk, I want a cup right now, Anyone? =/

Happiness is a choice. If you choose to be happy. You must lose some to get better, to gain more.

2011-03-16T20:10:00.001+08:00

One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. The novelty, like the first drops of dew on an untouched leaf, of the feeling makes it special and unforgettable.

i’m sick of feeling like i don’t mean a single thing to anyone.

2011-03-15T16:27:00.001+08:00

I'm not a fan of animation/cartoon/drawing whatsoever but the picture above actually describe me and what I'm usually thinking about. Sigh!

It's my term break and I still have to go back school for AEP which is basically extra lessons. I had Monday on my hands and then I had CIP today morning. I was dealing w kids from the nearby kindergarten and somehow it turn out great, much better than what I expected because honestly I don't work well with kids but today it was just fine. Had D&T AEP afterwards and it was ok, home sweet home straightaway as I'm so damn shagged! If I can I want to rest at home tml but guess what? there's lesson tml too :( God, kill me now =/ Isn't it suppose to be a 'break'?